For posterity

I want to record how I’m feeling at the moment while I’m living it, to remind myself later when the first flush of breathless and giddy emotion has given way – as it inevitably must – to the more settled contentment that I hope my Viking Sousaphonist and I will find together.

But really, I don’t have the words.

All I know is that, finally, all the poetry and songs and stories make sense to me. I’ve always had a soft spot for Catullus and John Donne, but now I feel a real communion with them. And as for Shakespeare’s sonnets, well, they were clearly written for me and my love.

We’re working out the practical issues, step by step, helped largely by the marvel that is teh intertubes (thank the gods of technology for skype, email and iPhone apps), but also by our shared determination to be honest and kind and patient with one another while we adjust to our new state.

So, I’ll be flying over to the UK in July and we’ll have two whole weeks together – plus some time for me to see family, all of whom are unsurprisingly agog to meet him. That’s a little over two months away which, while incredibly frustrating on the one hand for reasons so obvious I won’t bother to enumerate them, on the other hand gives us some valuable time to prepare ourselves – not least among those preparations will be learning to shout down the insidious and destructive inner voices from our pasts that could sabotage everything if they’re not rigorously denied the opportunity.

However, with every loving word from him, mine are becoming less and less convincing and insistent. And I intend to return the favour.


In other news, I thoroughly enjoyed the Banff Mountain Film Festival on Thursday night. Eight short films from around the world covering everything from snowboarding in chest-deep powder in Kashmir among locals in Afghani hats and flip-flops and white-water kayaking through some of the most spectacular scenery on the planet in New Zealand, to a chap who spent a year walking across China, east to west, and the world’s most driven man; speed Alpinist, Ueli Steck, who completed an ascent of the Eiger North Face in 2hrs 47mins (as against the average time for pro mountaineers of 10hrs). Extraordinary. If you get chance to catch the festival on it’s world tour, I highly recommend it to anyone with even the most remote interest in the great outdoors.

Also, it is now officially wintery here. I shall have to get the winter-weight duvet laundered today so I can be toasty tonight. Not that I’m getting much sleep anyway, you understand, what with my head and heart so full to overflowing. God only knows where I’m getting my energy from. Oh right, peanut m&ms, good point. ;)

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13 Responses to For posterity

  1. azahar says:

    Wishing you all the best…

  2. modestypress says:

    Well, I know David (like I) read lots of science fiction, so he will appreciate this comment. David, exploring “inner space” (all the complications of his fractured personality) finally finds love in someone as fractured as he is. Woo, exploring outer space, gallivanting all around the world, finds love in a bi-continent relationship. If space travel were a little further along, you would be involved in an interplanetary relationship, making love in free fall.

    That may be for my seven year-old granddaughter (visiting today to help celebrate Mother’s day) a science fiction child as I never weary of reminding people who was born because of the technology that saved her after two sisters died before birth of being allergic to her mother’s body and who considers it perfectly normal to have “two mommies” [one my daughter) who live in Seattle and two daddies (one her sperm donor) who live in Chicago (my birth city). Anne Elise will surely live on Mars in a group marriage including at least two guys, two women, one android, one transgender person, and one Martian. At least. I am being cautious in my speculation. All of which assume civilization will survive. Perhaps her family on Mars will be the final surviving civilized family.

  3. Woo says:

    I like reading science fiction, too. But this story of mine and my Viking Sousaphonist is the most outlandish of them all :)

  4. I’m so glad that it is working well! And it is so wise of you to realize how much “unwrapping” your hearts (and minds) will require. Forewarned is forearmed. The negative voices will most certainly open their ugly mouths at sometime, but since you know what they are doing you can sabotage THEM rather than letting them sabotage your infant relationship.

    All the best! And from my point of view here as a Woman Approaching Ancient Slowly (as slowly as I can manage. . .), the time until July will fly by and be over before you know it. Meanwhile, learn to shut your brain down after a couple of hours or even peanut m&ms will stop working well as an energy source!

    • Woo says:

      thank you hmh! Yes, we are definitely both forewarned and are attempting to gather our arsenal in order to be forearmed. So far, we’re doing well, stockpiling weapons such as affection and understanding and patience and humour and, well, love, frankly.

  5. modestypress says:

    Going into sugar shock! How sweet it is.

    • Woo says:

      Yes, and I’m trying VERY VERY HARD not to freak myself out and retreat just because it is so unusual and unfamiliar. Afterall, it *should* be normal and familiar to feel properly loved and understood and missed and all that good, soppy stuff by someone who actual sees the real you and isn’t consequently heading at top speed in the opposite direction… and the normal, healthy response is to reciprocate and articulate those feelings. Which I do. :)

  6. doctordi says:

    Awww too gorgeous!!! Thrilled to pieces for you!!!

  7. bigbadjohnnyp says:

    I don’t get over very often – at all!

    I seem to have missed some breaking news. ;-)

    I wish you both whatever you would wish for yourselves out of the relationship.

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