I want to record how I’m feeling at the moment while I’m living it, to remind myself later when the first flush of breathless and giddy emotion has given way – as it inevitably must – to the more settled contentment that I hope my Viking Sousaphonist and I will find together.
But really, I don’t have the words.
All I know is that, finally, all the poetry and songs and stories make sense to me. I’ve always had a soft spot for Catullus and John Donne, but now I feel a real communion with them. And as for Shakespeare’s sonnets, well, they were clearly written for me and my love.
We’re working out the practical issues, step by step, helped largely by the marvel that is teh intertubes (thank the gods of technology for skype, email and iPhone apps), but also by our shared determination to be honest and kind and patient with one another while we adjust to our new state.
So, I’ll be flying over to the UK in July and we’ll have two whole weeks together – plus some time for me to see family, all of whom are unsurprisingly agog to meet him. That’s a little over two months away which, while incredibly frustrating on the one hand for reasons so obvious I won’t bother to enumerate them, on the other hand gives us some valuable time to prepare ourselves – not least among those preparations will be learning to shout down the insidious and destructive inner voices from our pasts that could sabotage everything if they’re not rigorously denied the opportunity.
However, with every loving word from him, mine are becoming less and less convincing and insistent. And I intend to return the favour.
In other news, I thoroughly enjoyed the Banff Mountain Film Festival on Thursday night. Eight short films from around the world covering everything from snowboarding in chest-deep powder in Kashmir among locals in Afghani hats and flip-flops and white-water kayaking through some of the most spectacular scenery on the planet in New Zealand, to a chap who spent a year walking across China, east to west, and the world’s most driven man; speed Alpinist, Ueli Steck, who completed an ascent of the Eiger North Face in 2hrs 47mins (as against the average time for pro mountaineers of 10hrs). Extraordinary. If you get chance to catch the festival on it’s world tour, I highly recommend it to anyone with even the most remote interest in the great outdoors.
Also, it is now officially wintery here. I shall have to get the winter-weight duvet laundered today so I can be toasty tonight. Not that I’m getting much sleep anyway, you understand, what with my head and heart so full to overflowing. God only knows where I’m getting my energy from. Oh right, peanut m&ms, good point. ;)