Why do intelligent, perceptive people repeat patterns of behaviour which, even with the most cursory introspection, they must see have turned out badly before?
The usual buttons are pushed and the familiar response kicks in. Hormones, hope and emotions take over… leading inevitably to the same result.
“This time it will be different.” Why?
Why can’t she see that each time she goes for a guy significantly older than her, thinking he’s full of wisdom and strength because he’s experienced so much more than her… only to find after a while that he doesn’t have all the answers. If he did, he wouldn’t have been ping-ponging around the world all these years.
What she took for a fascinating variety of life experience is actually just an inability to hold down a job and settle. Disillusion and resentment.
Her comparative youth is really an excuse for him to postpone the moment of growing up. She finds that he doesn’t want an equal partnership any more than she does, but for different reasons.
She is never going to learn, is she? And all we can do is watch and wait and pick up the pieces. Again.
And on a vaguely related note: a 25 year old guy who’d been filming me standing in the garden in a wedding dress most of the afternoon (and that’s a whole other story to be filed under “The Things I Do For My Job”) made a pass at me with a truly dreadful ‘line’ this week. I was initially too surprised to take him seriously, then horrified. He is 9 years younger than me. Very nearly a decade. The same age as my little sister. That’s just wrong. It would be like her going out with a 16 year old.
So why is it more socially acceptable for the age difference to be the other way round? Being ‘the older woman’ sounds so much worse than being ‘the older man’.