If you get grossed out easily, do not read this

It has recently become clear to me that I am one of a tiny minority of people who can poo in a loo other than their own.

{Look, I did warn you, didn’t you read the title? I mean, I’ve used nice British euphemisms, but still, you know what we’re talking about here.}

It seems that several of my friends and co-workers – and not just the ones in Oz – cannot bring themselves to poo at the office, in a restaurant toilet or even at a friend’s house.

Should I be proud of the apparent insouciance of my internal workings?

Freud would undoubtedly have had something to say. Not Freud the cat downstairs, Freud the beardy guy with the fixations.

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10 Responses to If you get grossed out easily, do not read this

  1. Ivan says:

    What do these people do when they travel – avail themselves of a cork?

  2. azahar says:

    Ah, but do they all have the same reason for not doing so? I know some people who won’t poo away from home because they refuse to sit on public toilet seats (and haven’t got developed enough thigh muscles to squat above one). But others do have a thing about pooing away from home that I’ve never understood.

    Perhaps Freud the cat is the one with the answer to this since, as you know, unlike dogs, cats always bury their poo.

    Yes, travelling mustn’t be much fun for these people.

  3. Piereth says:

    If you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go, is what I feel!

    Having said that, if you are one of thye lucky few who can pinch a loaf and not leave the Bog of Eternal Stench behind you, lucky you! I am not one of these. My work colleagues know to leave a judicious 15 mins between me going and them going… and leave the fan on , also!

    Actually we should talk more about poo, it feels very freeing.

  4. azahar says:

    Pinch a loaf??? šŸ˜€

    Gosh, this is getting quite educational.

  5. truce says:

    Cork? Euw. And quite possibly also Ow.

    Reasons for not going seem to vary on the themes of “every other loo is not as clean as mine just think of the germs” which is extraordinary given that these same people will eat stuff prepared in other kitchens than their own… and the other theme of “people will hear me/smell me and know I’ve been for a poo”. Which is daft. Everyone poos. Everyone knows everyone poos. How could they not know you poo?

    “Pinch a loaf”? How about “Curl off a length?” Yuk, I’m even grossing myself out now.

  6. cer!se says:

    Oh, they’re just up tight. Literally. Anally retentive. Freud was onto something (the philosopher, not the cat).

  7. azahar says:

    Better out than in! Similar idea when it comes to farting. That people hold in their farts so they don’t, well, appear like people who need to fart.

    How bizarre.

    Granted, some farts are more stinky than others, some are noisier than others, but it’s a natural body response for eliminating gas in one’s body. If you hold it in, what happens to your innards?

  8. I found this whole thread quite amusing! The well regulated and healthy bowel tends to wish to eliminate shortly after being stimulated by ingesting food. If you over-ride that natural response, eventually your body “turns” on you and you get to experience the joys of constipation. Personally, when my body starts to signal to me that it wishes to eliminate, I go find a loo immediately. Otherwise I might find that I have an embarrassing load in my britches.

    I have a client who is phobic about bathrooms. She will not drink anything before she is driving a long distance because if she does, she might need to urinate before she gets home. She habitually drives 85-90 miles per hour on her return here from visiting her daughter in St. Louis so that she will not have to pee before she gets home. I have no idea what she does when she travels!

    I also remember a scene I witnessed when I was 16 or so. Our family was on a 2-week long group backpacking expedition with the Sierra Club in the Wind River Range. We had left the the trailhead on our way to base camp, and had been on the trial about two hours. We stopped for a rest break, and as I was looking for a spot to pee, I happened on a young mother with her four year old son. She was trying to convince him that he could pee on that bush, that he did not need a toilet to aim at. I guess there is such a thing as being “too well” toiliet trained!

  9. alji says:

    When you’ve gotta go you gotta go! I can poo three or four times a day but a friend of mine poos about once a week. I always give the seats a wipe when using any toilets and the worst toilet I’ve ever used was on the way to Exeter, a chemical toilet at the side of the road.

  10. Tark says:

    Two things.

    #1: Always poo on company time. Nothing is more satisfying than getting paid to poo.

    #2: Free toilet paper, in almost endless supply, and somebody else will unblock the toilet. Several times a day if required.

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