Married Guy's Wife Hates Me

In this latest thrilling installment of “How Not To Be Married To A Pig”…

Married Guy told me last night that he had finally admitted to his wife that he was seeing someone else.

Good, now she has the truth, I thought. That will be painful, but must be better than the suspicion you are being lied to…


when she (predictably) asked him who he was now seeing, he came up with my name. MY name. Not the Other Woman’s name. MINE.

Apparently, he had told his wife several times that he was staying over at my place when in fact he was sleeping with the Other Woman.

Apparently, this was to protect the Other Woman.

I, of course – being entirely blameless – clearly don’t need protecting from a rightfully irate wife potentially turning up to the office and causing a scene in front of my boss.

Sometimes, I REALLY wish I was a man. Then I would punch him on the nose. As it is, bawling at him like a fishwife is less effective as well as less energy-efficient.

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13 Responses to Married Guy's Wife Hates Me

  1. nursemyra says:

    oh dear oh dear….. this does not bode well…..

  2. piereth says:

    Phone the wife immediately and drop him in the shit, then wash your hands of the whole crew.

    I’m glad now that you didn’t move in with him – he’s feckless, arrogant, unprincipled and a low down double crossing shitbag!

    Salute to Ed, who was right all the time – maybe he’s come across the type before!!!

    Trust everyone, just never trust the devil inside them.

  3. mothergoose says:

    Married Guy seems to take his responsibilities seriously, doesn’t he — protecting the Other Woman and all. Too bad he’s a serious idiot bastard.

    But what about Other Woman? Is she in on the twisted shitbag’s lies? Or is she just as lied to as Mrs. Married Guy?

    Sad state of affairs. Time to blow this loser’s cover(s).

  4. Ed says:

    dirt bag shitwad chicken pansy wanker. you should punch him, and tell his wife, and stay as far away from him as possible. he has directly and deliberately abused you and deserves all the wrath you have. typically you are working near him, but you must make your feelings known if you ask me (which I know you’re not!)

    thank god you didn’t move in with him.

    Soapbox moment:

    It embarrasses me you know, to hear about the way my ‘fellow’ men behave. It’s shameful; the blunt, stupid, rude, selfish, arrogant, stupid, stupid things men do. I know women lie and cheat, but i’m not a woman so I’m not taking that on my plate right now.

    one of the things that stays in my brain is will my generation of men behave more honestly than those before ours? will they not leave their wives with such predictability? i hope that we will not. i hope that we will learn from our personal histories of broken or saddened parental expeiences and think ‘right, i’m not going to let that happen to me or my loved ones, i’m going to be honest and transparent with my wife. if there are things to be aired, i will air them. if i fancy something out of the ordinary i will discuss it with her – maybe she would honour me with a similar approach…’

    maybe we’ll make a generation with less disruption. maybe our kids will have less broken homes. maybe.

    maybe long term relationships are rareified and the fact that some exist is the thing to focus on.


    either way, he’s an arsehole who has dissed you. make your point firmly and without doubt, and move on (and away from him if poss).

  5. Ed says:

    Oh and… I am slightly embarrassed to say I read Mariella Frostrup’s agony aunt column worryingly regularly –

    This week’s one is quite relevant

  6. Unlike Ed, I do not hold out a lot of hope for long-term faithfulness within society. It always takes two to tango and with DNA tests showing around 10% of children have biological fathers different from those shown on their birth certificate there has been a lot of tangoing going on. Probably for generations since all our ancestors were human as well.

    But to gratuitously include an innocent party into a situation like this is unforgivable! He deserves all he gets after you speak with his wife.

  7. azahar says:

    Adding my vote to the ‘call the wife and drop him in the shit’ contingent.

    I also think making him the Herpes Poster Boy (literally – you do artwork there, doncha?) is an excellent idea.

  8. Jenny says:

    Truce, you don’t have to wish that you were a man, you can still punch him.

  9. piereth says:

    Jenny’s right!! Elbow smash to the jaw, and he’d be out like a light. Good night, sweet prince!!!

  10. truce says:

    nursemyra – how right you are…

    piereth – yes, I absolutely would call his wife, but I don’t have her number or know where she works. Am considering writing in permanent marker pen “I am shagging x” on the back of his shirt one evening as he leaves to go home…

    mothergoose – Other Woman is slowly coming to realise what Married Guy is actually like, which is a good thing. Too late for her engagement to her fiance though. So that’s one more person who has behaved blamelessly and still been betrayed. I feel for him.

    Ed – You know how I feel about this I hope. Dishonesty with those we profess to care about – even dishonesty by omission – sickens me. Once again it gladdens my heart to hear a male perspective sharing my hopes for a braver and more honest future to relationships. Successful long term relationships do exist. They may be rare, but they do exist. Let’s focus on that – once the inital ‘giddy love’ and physical passion fade a little, what can be left is trust and honesty and fun and true companionship. And cats and house rabbits.

    And Mariella Frostrup needs to stay well clear of her ex by the sounds of things…

    archiearchive – Yes, but I choose to believe that the majority behaviour doesn’t dictate my own. Especially, but not only, in cases like this. Just because nearly everyone else behaves badly, doesn’t mean I will. We’re all human and fallible, and we all have instincts and urges which can be powerful – but we can still choose to be honest about them and own up to our mistakes, weaknesses or desires.

    azahar – I’m LOVING the idea of ‘Herpes Poster Boy’… watch this space!

    Jenny – a timely reminder, thank you! I’ve never punched anyone before – and I suspect it hurts more than it looks on film, but I’m certainly willing to try it 🙂

  11. Well. I could add a few choice epithets to the list of descriptions of the lying s.o.b. but I think everyone else has pretty well covered the field. I am right in there with the rest of them: he needs to be busted and soon. Call the wife, tell her the truth. Jenny did suggest an elbow smash. Do not, repeat NOT try to punch him with your fist if you are not used to it. This is a good way to break your metacarpals. I suppose using an axe handle would count as assault and battery. I like the herpes poster boy too.

    What a jerk.

    By the way, it IS possible to have a long term relationship. Jim and I ave been together for 25 years, married for 22 of them. Doesn’t look like it will be ending before one of us dies. I can’t imagine life without him, don’t want to anyway.

  12. truce says:

    Good practical advice on the ‘axe handle’ versus fist debate and a positive picture to end on, thanks hmh 🙂

  13. Autumn says:

    As a woman, you can still punch him, in fact you can do a lot more than that. I’d kick him in the balls. How dare he use your name? They’re the ones in the wrong, you shouldn’t get blamed for something you have nothing to do with.

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