The Wedding of the God Botherers

I was all set to write a post about a Wedding I attended at the weekend. But then I thought it might be mean to poke fun at the wedding. So, let me say first of all: the Bride is a colleague and friend as well as a Born Again Christian – which is fine, she keeps it to herself at work – and her husband is also a committed Christian and an all round nice chap.

So, Bride and Groom are lovely and I have no problem with their faith.

BUT (you knew there was a but coming, right?) their Wedding ceremony, on the other hand, I had a real problem with.

Someone needs to explain to this congregation – and, I suspect, to many more just like it – that replacing traditional hymns with guitar-rock power ballads (“God, You Are Amazing! You made the stars and You know them all by name!”) is just silly.

Giving a Christian an electric guitar and a leather jacket does not make him cool. And there is no reason he should be cool. I’m sure Jesus didn’t care if someone was cool or not.

Also, the only people who should be allowed to be Pastors are those who do not a) like the sound of their own voice or b) think they’re funny.

Nor should married misogynist Pastors who bring their own microphone be allowed to speak at weddings. “So, my advice to you, Steve, is to pretend you’re listening when Jen is talking. Ha ha! Just put the cricket on and every once in a while you go ‘uh huh’ or ‘yes dear’. That’s my advice for a long and happy marriage!” *Sounds of Pastor’s wife filing for divorce Stage Right*

Other than that, the weather was perfect, the Bride was beautiful, the Groom was proud, the flower girls were solemn and cheeky by turns and I managed to refrain from giving the Pastor a piece of my mind at the Reception in the interests of nuptial harmony.

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15 Responses to The Wedding of the God Botherers

  1. Woooie! (Note the spelling of that word. It is a manifestation of my theory that two ‘o’s is not enough).

    I’m going to print this and carry it around in my wallet. I think I’m funny and I will have a printed work by someone other than me ruling me out as a possible Pastor.

    And, I want to thank you for being bothered by the “don’t get along with one’s spouse” jokes. They tick me off too.

  2. truce says:

    Two ‘o’s is never enough. Nooo.

    You are funny. If you want to be a Pastor I will allow it. 🙂

  3. I soooo do not want to be a pastor that…hmmm….it is morning for me right now so I don’t know what to say. I have no wit in the morning.

  4. truce says:

    I have no wit in the morning either. Lucky for me its early afternoon here so I’m rib-tickling, bordering on hilarious…

  5. It is now night. It isn’t really cold but it was darned windy. I just came from a PTA meeting and I’m mildly irritated. This is unusual. I’m usually not irritated by those meetings. I usually enjoy them. Oh well. So, no wit in the evening either. I think I’ll make up a post and see if wit comes to me. If not, I can always just delete it.

  6. Jenny says:

    Reminds me of those Saturday Night Live skits with Will Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer. Have you seen them? Hilarious!!

  7. OMG. I’m afraid I would have HAD to give the “pastor” a piece of my mind. Or perhaps the feel of my boot in his ass would have been sufficient. Long and Happy marriage my eye. Or perhaps his definition of “happy” is different than mine. And it probably only seems like a long marriage. I feel a rant coming on. Must go pick salad.

  8. truce says:

    Oh dear, I think PTA meetings would induce a rant in me… I usually find that if no wit comes to me, having a good rant is an excellent Plan B.

    Oh no, Jenny, I haven’t seen the Saturday Night Live skits – were they about an annoying Pastor?

    You know, hmh, I bet his wife feels like she’s been trapped, ahem, married to him for several lifetimes already…

  9. The PTA meetings are usually kind of fun and short. This one wasn’t as short as it should have been (and in one way, that was my fault) and someone said something that completely offended me.

    We were discussing how much aid to give to a family that had had a tragedy happen. The claim was made that since the family was a single parent family, they didn’t need as much as a ‘normal’ family. I felt like swearing but I didn’t. But, that reasoning is crap. Single parent families often have fewer resources than two parent families. I wouldn’t drop it until I got my way.

  10. piereth says:

    You’re right Bobby, single parent families are one person trying to provide for dependents instead of two. Not two adults who need new clothes, cars etc!!!! Some people are so blinkered it hurts to even think about them. Some of the people I know who struggle the most to balance the old chequebook are single parent families. Good on you for sticking to your guns. Did you win??

  11. truce says:

    Yes, definitely good on you Bobby, I can’t believe that anyone could be so idiotic to think that single parent families need less help rather than more.

  12. I got as much of my way as was possible at that meeting. There were some budgetary constraints (which were stupid for an entirely different reason but dealing with them would have distracted from the more important issue at hand).We are going to revisit it at the next meeting. I’m satisfied with that and I think I swayed the majority so next meeting things are likely to carry through.

    I must in fairness say that part of the frustration is that the person who said the daft stuff is often very nice and very sensible. I usually like her. Part of the frustration was the surprise of hearing it from her.

  13. truce says:

    I can totally understand that. Perhaps she went home and thought “I can’t believe I said that!” and will be more moderate and understanding at the next meeting – we all have bad days 🙂

  14. bosquechica says:

    It’s odd how Some People (Annoying Pastors and Unkind PTA Members) cannot hear what asses they sound like. And it’s odd what passes for reason and compassion in places where you’d hope those things would be at least present, if not central. I agree with giving them a good swift kick. At least, that’s my current highly compassionate and reasoned response.

  15. truce says:

    I’m with you bosquechica! I think even the historical Jesus (or perhaps especially Jesus) would give many modern christians a good slap for their lack of compassion and inability to reason. Thanks for stopping by 🙂

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