I was all set to write a post about a Wedding I attended at the weekend. But then I thought it might be mean to poke fun at the wedding. So, let me say first of all: the Bride is a colleague and friend as well as a Born Again Christian – which is fine, she keeps it to herself at work – and her husband is also a committed Christian and an all round nice chap.
So, Bride and Groom are lovely and I have no problem with their faith.
BUT (you knew there was a but coming, right?) their Wedding ceremony, on the other hand, I had a real problem with.
Someone needs to explain to this congregation – and, I suspect, to many more just like it – that replacing traditional hymns with guitar-rock power ballads (“God, You Are Amazing! You made the stars and You know them all by name!”) is just silly.
Giving a Christian an electric guitar and a leather jacket does not make him cool. And there is no reason he should be cool. I’m sure Jesus didn’t care if someone was cool or not.
Also, the only people who should be allowed to be Pastors are those who do not a) like the sound of their own voice or b) think they’re funny.
Nor should married misogynist Pastors who bring their own microphone be allowed to speak at weddings. “So, my advice to you, Steve, is to pretend you’re listening when Jen is talking. Ha ha! Just put the cricket on and every once in a while you go ‘uh huh’ or ‘yes dear’. That’s my advice for a long and happy marriage!” *Sounds of Pastor’s wife filing for divorce Stage Right*
Other than that, the weather was perfect, the Bride was beautiful, the Groom was proud, the flower girls were solemn and cheeky by turns and I managed to refrain from giving the Pastor a piece of my mind at the Reception in the interests of nuptial harmony.