Not a very promising start

Hmmmm. I must be doing something wrong. Either that, or I’m worse looking than even I think.

I filled out my profile – kept it positive and pretty brief and avoided using the following meaningless cliches: ‘easy-going’, ‘down-to-earth’, ‘normal’, ‘fun-loving’… I mean, who doesn’t love fun? You’d have to be psychotic not to love fun.

I uploaded a few photos – a couple of smiling head shots and a couple full length.

I gave myself a headline: ‘Happy girl with depth’

Then I did the search thing: Woman looking for Man, Aged 35-40, Over 5’11”, Hair colour? Not Important, Eye colour? Not Important, Pets? Must Like Pets, Religion? Agnostic or Atheist, Politics? Left wing, Ethnic/Cultural Background? Not Important, Education Level? Just So Long As He Can Spell (okay, you’re right, you can’t really choose that option, but you should be able to), Profession? Not Important (but secretly hoping its not Banking or Accountancy or Law – unless maybe its human rights law), Salary Level? Not Important I’ll buy my own shoes, Location? Sydney NSW.

Then I went through the results and sent an auto contact message to 10 guys who seemed interesting and funny.

Every single one of them – except one – has come back with an auto response saying they’re already seeing someone else. Which is clearly just a polite way of saying ‘No thanks!’

So, plan B?

This entry was posted in oh I don't know, just stuff and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Not a very promising start

  1. staticity says:

    interesting and funny. Yeah,I have a similar problem but I wouldn’t gage facebook or myspace type websites as an indication of who you really are. People lie on those things so often anyway. It’s kind of fun to make a fake one and see who is interested then. You’d be surprised how many people do it

  2. azahar says:

    Well yes, if they are actually seeing someone else then why haven’t they deleted themselves from the site?

    But frankly, any man that sees your photos and doesn’t think you’re gorgeous seriously needs to have his head examined, so you’re better off if those don’t reply anyhow. I’d say it’s much more likely to be that they don’t really like pets or something else.

    Honestly, why does it have to be something wrong with you??? Why do we do this to ourselves? So take a deep breath, tell yourself it’s their loss not yours, and send out some more messages …

    And hurry up – I’m dying to hear about your first date! 🙂

  3. piereth says:

    Azahar’s right. Not you. NOT YOU. And you got a reply! Not 9 rejections, as they weren’t rejecting you as a person, never having met you!!! You got a positive answer. I hope he’s nice and gives you a boost… but there’ll be a host of chaps out there to take for a spin… go girl!!


  4. woodpigeon says:

    Yes, interesting that 9 of them are still active on the site despite claiming to be in a relationship already. Don’t give up just yet. I’m sure there are a lot of nice guys out there. The main thing is to find out a bit about the type of person they are. I think email, despite all its faults, can give you a fairly good measure of someone given sufficient time.

  5. truce says:

    Thanks staticity, and I can totally see how much fun it might be to make up an alternate persona on one of those sites – maybe I could compare how the fake or ‘anti-me’ me does against the real me?!

    Az – well, that’s what I thought too – if they’re seeing someone else, why still be on the site (which why I know they’re just polite brush-offs). Thanks VERY MUCH for the supportive comments, I will get right back at it this afternoon and keep you all posted 🙂

    piereth – You’re right, look at it another way and its one more guy than I was in contact with this time last week, so that has to be positive. He seems nice, although his second email just arrived and it is full of spelling and grammar errors… yikes, I think I’m a grammar snob…

    woodpigeon – I agree, email can be very revealing, some people’s personalities come across very strongly even when typed!

  6. piereth says:

    Noooo! I have to say this is a personal bugbear of mine. Spelling and grammar. So unimportant in one way, so important in others!!! Know where you are, chicken.

  7. Well well well. I’m seeing someone already. Not quite right now. She’s in the other room. And, ‘seeing’ isn’t quite the right word. ‘Happily married to’ is the right word. But, if I was considering dating and was looking on the ‘net for a in person girlfriend, I’d be searching for people with your description. Not only that but if I could search for people based on the searches that they’ve made, I’d most certainly be searching for you.

    I want to say “thanks” about something. When you applied the word “meaningless” to the cliches that I think are meaningless, I felt pleased and not quite so much like an alien. I’ve tried asking people “what does ‘down to earth’ mean?” I haven’t got an answer (other than “you know .. like down to earth”) and yet the people who’ve used the phrase and been unable to answer don’t seem to have noticed that their answer indicates that the phrase is meaningless.

    So, thanks for writing that.

  8. ombudsben says:

    Some people live in a very conceptual, even theoretical world. Hollywood stereotypes college professors this way, the “absent-minded professor”, and it’s said they have their “heads in the clouds.”

    “Down to earth” is the opposite of that. It’s a way of saying someone is pragmatic or practical.

    Trucie, first of all, I’m sorry to hear the clods didn’t realize their chance. For what little it’s maybe worth, some of those sites require men to pay, and it’s a nuisance taking your profile down and putting it back up.

    When I did, I got polite replies, too, saying women had met someone and wanted to see how that went before they met someone else. I just shined it off, and kept going.

    Maybe they are too lazy to pull their profiles. I don’t know. I don’t mean to excuse them, rather, to reiterate what the others are saying, that it ain’t you and to stay the course.

    After all, running the search once is only going to turn up the available guys at that moment. I’ll bet if you give it some time, something better turns up.

    As I mentioned to you before, it did for me — and it took ten months of patience to get there. 😉

  9. bosquechica says:

    Ohh, back to dating. Gads. Well I may have mentioned this back when I first started reading you — you were speed dating at the time, I believe — but I did meet my one and only through an ad she placed. Only ad I ever answered, amazingly. Keep your chin up, don’t waste your time on anyone who isn’t thrilled to be with you, and hold out for one who can spell!

  10. All this angst. God, it makes me so thankful that I am “seeing someone” (who is in the other room preparing my dinner), and have been seeing him for 25 years. I regularly tell him that he CANNOT die before me because 1. I can’t conceive of re-entering the “dating game” after such a long hiatus and 2. If anything happens to the computer after his death I will be stuck with a dead computer and 3. I could never move the stereo system as it is way to complex and detailed for me to ever figure out what unit went where and plugged into which.

  11. Gaaaa! Please forgive my egregious error and immediately substitue “too” for “to” in the sentence referring to the stereo. Gaaah! (Slinks off humiliated)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s