Cicero, eat your heart out.

1. On Motivation.

Last night, I cooked dinner for a friend and his Mother.  Friend’s Mother had just had an operation to remove a cataract (under local anaesthetic – euwk). I’m not sure why, exactly, it seemed appropriate to go to her house and cook her a meal, but it did.

Maybe its because I’d like to think some kind soul was doing the same for my Mother while I’m miles away.  Not that she has cataracts.   

And it would certainly have been much more of a trial had I done it for my own Mother – not least because her kitchen always looks like the ‘before’ scene from Snow White & The Seven Dwarves, pre-appearance of the singing forest helpers. 

2. On Friendship

A blogosphere friend (I don’t have aquaintances), wrote an exquisite post about friendship or the lack thereof in childhood here.  Seriously, go and read it.

You’re back?  Wow, you read fast.  Cool.

Anyway, I emailed him and said this:

…I’ve never had problems making friends – I just blithely trundle through life assuming that if you show an interest in other people they will like you – since everyone’s main preoccupation is themself – no matter how weird-looking you are (and, let’s face it, well over 90% of children are weird-looking)…

And it made me realise that, yes, this may in fact be the key to making friends.  Its not about how cool you are (believe me, I wasn’t, I wanted to be Sherlock Holmes after all), or how pretty (again, not so much – more gawky and flat-chested and pale), or how talented (I was academically strong but fundamentally flawed at everything else including music, acting, sports and dancing).

So, I’m noting this here, in case I ever have children.  I will want to teach them to take an interest in others, so they never want for friends.  ‘Course, its a whole other drama teaching them how to shake off the friends that end up not worth having…

3. On Dreams

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Dreams are Not Worth Recounting.  However, I keep dreaming about my ex.  This is not good.  The whole point of ending that relationship was to end the emotional turmoil, I don’t want my own bloody brain recreating it quite so authentically while I supposedly rest, thanks.

4. On Fatness

All through my late teens and early 20’s my parents said to me: “Just you wait til you hit 30, then you won’t be able to eat all that rubbish without putting on weight”.  They were right.  Bugger.

5. On Illness

A letter from my Mother arrived today, telling me – among other inanities – that my Uncle has oesophagal cancer.  I feel sad about it and obviously I wish him well, but we’re not a close extended family, I’ve never really spent much time with my Mother’s brother and I must confess it doesn’t touch me the way it did when I heard about my blogosphere friend Azahar’s illness.

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4 Responses to Cicero, eat your heart out.

  1. Thanks for the linklove, Trucie.

    And re#3 … that’s a universal truth I doubt I’ll ever come to terms with. I blog pretty frequently about my dreams, probably to nobody’s amusement but my own. 🙂

  2. pandemonic says:

    Heh… fatness. I can relate. Only it didn’t happen to me until a few years ago, making my transition into the slide of old age right about at the 45 mark. Damn it.

  3. azahar says:

    Oooooh, link lurve … thanks, honey. 🙂

    Re: friendship. Years ago I had an American flatmate who once told me that she couldn’t ever imagine anyone not liking her. But I think she also applied the ‘showing an interest in others’ technique. I find that works for me in social situations, but when it comes to friends there also needs to be a special chemistry too. Just showing an interest might make someone like me, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I like them . . .

    Re: dreams. It’s probably nothing to do with your ex and more to do with what thinking about your ex makes you feel.

  4. truce says:

    David – I think you are the exception which proves the rule. 🙂

    Pandemonic – yep, it was a post of yours which made me think about it. Luckily, I’m still slim, I just have to work at it a little harder than I used to. ;(

    Azahar – very good point on the ex-dreams. I really hope you’re right!

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