date update.

So, did I enjoy Thursday night’s dinner date with Tall Physics Man? Yes, thanks, I did.
We talked easily, and he kindly offered me a lift home as it was raining so hard. In fact, he seemed genuinely concerned lest I think his offer concealed some dastardly axe-murderer style plan.

‘course , he did think The Odyssey was written by an American (and not the balding, paunchy father of three from Springfield, either). But I shouldn’t be such an intellectual snob, yes? Okay.

However, before you get excited for me, there is a real problem. I just don’t know how to write about it. Suffice to say I cried myself to sleep last night for the first time in about three years, I felt so utterly hopeless.

Not being able to have what one wants is hard. Not knowing what one wants is worse.

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17 Responses to date update.

  1. But knowing what you want and having to decide whether the imperfect thing in front of you will ever be enough is the worst thing of all.

    And I’m sorry, but I can’t imagine a woman of your wit being OK with a guy who doesn’t know who Homer is.


  2. truce says:

    I don’t even really know why I’m trying. I think I can hear the Black Dog prowling ever closer behind me though.

    Thanks for the hug.

  3. pandemonic says:

    So, what is the problem? Is he Mr Right and you can’t have him? Or is he Mr. Wrong and you don’t want to go through another Mystery date?

  4. modestypress says:

    I think it’s National Anguish Day. Though I don’t know if that’s true on your side of the International Date Line.

  5. truce says:

    pandemonic – he’s neither Mr Right nor Mr Wrong, simply Mr Not Someone Else. The fault is all mine, Miss Impossible to Please Malcontent.

    Mr Random – it must be International Anguish Day, then. Sorry to hear it’s the same on your side of the pond.

  6. I used to think that when I grew up, I would know what I wanted. Now that I have almost passed middle age, I fear I may never grow up. I still don’t know what I want and I still get down times because of that. Sometimes I think I belong to a subset of humans who are complete misfits.

    While you may be a temporary member of the partial misfits at this stage of your late youth you still have time to grow and learn what you want. More females than males do manage that. 🙂


  7. truce says:

    Archie – “almost passed middle age”, you? Never!!! 😉 and thanks for the hugs.

  8. azahar says:

    Aha, another good spot for a quote I heard on The Wire awhile ago…

    “Life is the shit that happens while you’re waiting for moments that never come.”

    I’ve been learning a lot about carping the diem lately (bit of a crash course) and there’s a lot to be said for enjoying what’s right in front of you for just what it is, rather than wishing it was somehow more or something else.

    So he might not end up being the love of your life. But he sounds thoughtful and kind. And rather than be an intellectual snob, you might want to educate him a bit … and thereby maybe finding out what you can learn from him.

    I think people are always more interesting when we don’t jump to conclusions or have preconceived notions about what sort of relationship we can have with them.

    Oh, and here are some *hugs* … 🙂

  9. truce says:

    That is an eminently wise and kind comment, Az, thanks! And a cracking quote 🙂

  10. Truce, honey, Even when you find Mister Perfect Soul Mate, I am here to tell you that there are still worms in that apple. Even the most perfect match will have places that don’t completely mesh with us, mostly because we ourselves have little holes and protuberances that make us extremely difficult to mesh to. Once again, I will state that if I am ever widowed I don’t think I will even try to look for another companion. It is just too hard to imagine going through all the trials, tribulations, and disappointments that the dating process involves.

    And, of course, being in a rather splendid relationship myself, I will tell you that even with that being true, there are nights when I feel hopeless too. I think this is because I am married to a member of the opposite sex. Damn them, they are mysterious and different and have places like the Marianas Trench in their brains and psyches. I’m sure they feel the same way about us!

    And so, I salute you, a brave woman on a quest! And hugs to you as well.

  11. truce says:

    thanks so much hmh – that’s a lovely, kind, wise, insightful and supportive comment.

    You’re completely right about everyone having oddities which make it difficult for us to fit together. The older I get, the more pronounced mine become.

    And if I learned one thing from my last relationship, it was that a woman cannot expect a man to fulfil every emotional need. Men just aren’t equipped for it. So female friends are vital outlets and stabilizers.

  12. Hey, it could be worse … I got a “no thanks, no more” after a second date because (are you ready?) I make too much money and I’m too good a housekeeper.

    I’m not even kidding.

  13. truce says:

    clearly she was insane. Quite, quite insane.

  14. piereth says:

    God, I’ve only just seen all this, my poor dear. I’ve been flat our getting over a small man in a mask kneeling on my chest removing my teeth with pliers!!

    What don’t you want? Decide that, then try everything else.

    The question is, really; is this a case of not yet having moved on? Because if so, you need to stop looking, dig up the unquiet dead body and kill it properly before you can do anything else.

    I love you dearly and I’m thinking of you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  15. truce says:

    good grief piereth m’dear, that sound ghastly. I hope you’re okay?

    And I think it may be partly that, and partly not really trusting anyone with my potential for wigging out. And I just couldn’t take the end of a love affair again.

  16. Oh, the ends of love affairs. Egads. Have you read my series “Breaking up is hard to do?” I have to write another episode soon, I have another amazing tale to tell that has been in “Drafts” for too long.

  17. truce says:

    Yes, your series is wonderfully written, hmh.

    The trouble with getting your heart broken is that – even though you KNOW that almost everyone else has been through it themselves – it still feels as though you’re the only one who has ever felt so hurt.

    I’m not good at bouncing back, either, for some reason – no doubt with deep roots in my subconscious or something. 😉

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