The Social Skills of a Puppy Coked Up To The Eyes On, Well, Coke.

One of my colleagues reminds me of the kind of terribly enthusiastic dog which runs at you as soon as it hears you approach, flings itself against your chest, licks your face and shoves its nose in your crotch.
It makes me want to slap her on the nose and say firmly, “No! Bad girl, down!”
How can anyone have so little understanding of human patterns of interraction that they consider canine behaviour a good social model?
Can’t she see people backing off, withdrawing, looking urgently for a means of escape – there are people chucking themselves out of windows with gay abandon just to get away.

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13 Responses to The Social Skills of a Puppy Coked Up To The Eyes On, Well, Coke.

  1. jiva says:

    scathing.. but I know exactly what you mean. I have someone on chat that does that to me. OVER CHAT… how? I don’t know but I tend to block my chat now so that I don’t have to answer at least 7 times a day.

  2. truce says:

    exactly. I know she means well (and if that isn’t one of the most scathing things to say about someone I don’t know what is), but she’s so invasive and desperate for attention, which this week I am in no position to give.
    That IM thing is a curse though. I hate that people can see you’re at your computer!

  3. Tim says:

    I’m reminded to ask you, on reading this, whether those colleagues read this?
    As for IM, I’m mostly invisible, but it’s generally ‘required’ that I’m contactable that way…

  4. Tim says:

    btw, did you ever get the Hornblower collection? You see? googletastic.

  5. There’s a guy at my office who is so clueless about this kind of thing that he just keeps talking even when I:

    1) Turn to the computer and start typing

    2) Get up and walk away from him

    Fortunately, I am quite shameless about doing both of these things, so my level of suffering is comparatively low.

  6. Jenny says:

    I have one of those. Very excited to see you and then if you’re not as excited as they are, they ask “are you mad at me?” Well, I wasn’t, but I kinda am now!!

  7. piereth says:

    This is infuriating behaviour, and it’s a true measure of how thin your skin feels at the moment that you have mentioned it. I am very very sorry you feel so wan.

    How about stepping towards her every time she does towards you? That could be interesting!

  8. truce says:

    Tim – if they find me I’ll deny everything. Google and be damned, I say!

    David – believe me, I’m pretty shameless about such things, too. But I work in an open plan office so I have to listen to everyone else being too ‘nice’ to do the same while she talks nineteen to the dozen about anything and nothing.

    Jenny – yes, precisely! I start off determined to be patient and friendly and very soon find myself wishing I had a cattle prod.

    Piereth – you have hit upon the very thing, I’ll try it on Monday morning when she bounds over to bombard me about my weekend before I’ve even got my coat off…

  9. piereth says:

    Ha! Rely on me for crocodilian strategems for recalcitrant colleagues! 😛

  10. azahar says:

    And if that doesn’t work, smack her on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

  11. Oh, there’s nothing more infuriating than someone who asks you if (or why) you are mad when you aren’t — at least until they asked the question.

    Of course, on a daily basis I deal with these needy people, they come to me for massage. For one whole hour, they get to be the complete center of attention. I don’t know if this helps their coworkers, however, because I don’t know how they are when they get back to the”real world”.

  12. az, I thought you were supposed to knee over-excited puppies in the chest as they jumped up on you!

  13. truce says:

    I hope these needy types get it out of their system, by having your undivided attention for a whole hour… but I suspect they don’t work as logically as that!

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