1. I was a bit nervous about this week, to be honest. But – as with so many things which we anticipate with a little dread, it turns out that I need not have worried. Its fine.

As you know, I have had an Unrequited Crush for some time. You may not know, however, that he is currently visiting Sydney and staying in my flat. A mutual friend is getting married next weekend so Viking Sousaphonist (as he will henceforward be known) has extended his usual ‘end of the winter escape from cold wet miserable Blighty’ holiday to include a couple of weeks here for the nuptials and to catch up with friends – among whom I am pleased to count myself.

Now, my concern, of course, was that it might be uncomfortable – for him, not for me. I’m fine with it. After many years and several hopeless attachments I’m so used to my passions being unreciprocated that I think I’d only only be uncomfortable if ever one was actually returned…

My concern fizzed and jiggled around a central problem: On the one hand, he knows all about my unrequited crush because I – inadvertently at first – told him about it. We have discussed it both on the phone and via email. “This is bad”, I thought, because it could make both of us self-conscious and awkward… and then I remembered that we’re both self-conscious and awkward most of the time anyway, so it wouldn’t matter much. Then, “This is good”, I decided, because it should always be at least mildly flattering to have someone tell you they like you, especially since we both tend to assume that people don’t *really* like us.

On the other hand, i.e. if he didn’t know about it, it would be much worse, you see, because then he wouldn’t have been able to make it unmistakably – but kindly – clear that there is no chance of anything other than friendship between us. Which would have had me tied in gordian knots, had he been single, trying to work out how on earth one is supposed to seduce someone…

Which brings me to the best part of all: he is emphatically Not Single. He has a girlfriend with whom he has just spent 3 weeks holidaying in Asia. I’ve seen photos of her and frankly, if I were him, I’d prefer her, too. She has a fantastic figure and clearly a shit-load more determination in order to maintain it than I’ll ever have (pass the M&Ms). I hope she loves him as much as he clearly loves her and that they do agree to have children because he’ll be a cracking Dad.

So: this absent but still present girlfriend (he’s clearly missing her now that she has had to return to the UK to work – and I sympathise; when you are only truly comfortable with the one person you love best in the world and then have to be apart from them, it can be cripplingly painful) has almost totally dissolved any lingering crushiness. 

Don’t mistake me, he’s still wildly handsome as well as interesting, generous, funny, honest, considerate, patient, perceptive, challenging, kind and… okay, you get it… the point is, so is my brother. And that’s kind of how I feel now; having him staying with me is like having a brother to stay – just one who perhaps lived with the other parent when you were growing up so you don’t quite know each other inside out.

We went to the local outdoor pool on Saturday and I wasn’t self-conscious (well, no more than usual) about being seen in a bikini by him. Nor am I bothered about being seen when I first wake up and stumble through the living room past the guest sofabed to the bathroom. Probably even more importantly, I’m not discombobulated at all by seeing him in just his shorts.

Its been a while since I’ve shared space with a male, but its okay. He’s making it very easy for me. 

2. My other guest this week was also male, but considerably younger and cuter than Viking Sousaphonist. This guest’s name is Sylvester and he is the 5 month old kitten belonging to my ex-housemate. We kitten-sat for 3 nights over the weekend while she was away. Adorable? Yes, during the day he was delightfully entertaining (although a little worryingly clingy and demanding of attention – something I hope he’ll grow out of as he adjusts to his new life with her and she to him) but at night he was a FIEND incarnate. Nice to have him, but even nicer to give him back 🙂


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18 Responses to Visitors

  1. David says:

    That kitten picture is just too precious.

    As for Viking Sousaphonist … it sounds as though it’s turning out as well as could be expected? Still sounds slightly dodgy to me, however. 🙂

  2. woo says:

    Yes, precious while you were awake and he was asleep. Significantly less precious when you were asleep and he was awake…

    No, nothing dodgy at all. S’riously. I’m more platonic than ole Plato himself.

  3. Viking Sousaphonist says:

    I’ll pass on the obvious ‘don’t beat yourself up’ and ‘can’t compare apples and oranges’ (although obviously you can) responses directly to not telling you that I’m not dealing crack from the window while you are asleep. That is why that frigging kitten wouldn’t sleep…

  4. piereth says:

    Sounds pleasant-spirited and relaxed, and thank the gods for that! Your hospitality, not to say your emotional forbearance, sounds, well… more homeric than Homer!


  5. Debbie says:

    Subtitle: Two Degrees of Separation online and off…

    Ok, so after reading the hilarious Mike-of-the-Striped-Shirt post I started scrolling through more of your blog posts. This led me to the comments, which in turn led me to David’s (equally delightful) blog and subsequently the comments on his posts. You know, in that circuitous blog reading way that one does…

    Anyhoo, all of this led to the realisation that one of the regular commenters on his blog (doctordi) is a writer friend of mine. [HI DI – if you’re reading along here too] Are you friends too?

    Oh the marvelous synchronicity & small worldedness of it all. Perhaps I do need to start a blog after all, if only to meet more cool funny witty blog writers like your good selves. Only, I think I already waste enough time trawling around online instead of writing as it is. Hmm….

  6. woo says:

    Viking Sousaphonist – s’lright mate, I’m not beating myself up about it, not anymore. I get it and it’s fine. Especially since i am neither an apple nor an orange but a courgette. However, the crack dealing certainly explains the kitten…

    Piereth – you may refer to me as ‘rosy fingered dawn’

    Debbie – you must absolutely start a blog. Just think of the hours of enjoyment you could give everyone with your date stories: you have some crackers!

  7. OmbudsBen says:

    Trucie-woo, that kitten would have a ways to go to be as precious as you are. I’m very glad you are doing well.

    If you want distraction, check in during our travels. Coming from dry sunny California as we do, it will be odd to visit rainy old Florida for the 1st time — they have the gall to bill themselves as “the sunshine state.” Really. (And we’d kill for all that rain … )

  8. woo says:

    Ombudsben – I love travels so I will certainly keep stopping by to check on your visit to rainy old Florida 🙂 And thank you most kindly for the lovely compliment. I am not quite so easily entranced by water trickling out of taps as the kitten was, but otherwise I’d say we were pretty evenly matched!!

  9. Debbie says:

    Yes, it’s true Trucie, at this point I could almost make a career out of the bad date stories. (After all, the suffering ought to have *some* upside.) Or, perhaps join a convent.

    Personally I’m leaning towards option B at this point…

  10. azahar says:

    I’m sure Sylvester will grow out of it. Personally, I find it’s always best to have two cats – not much more expense and they always have company. Anyhow, count yourself lucky – when Sunny was a kitten he used to chew holes in my pj’s while I slept.

    (did you know that silvestre means wild in Spanish – as in wild flowers?)

    Glad the visit with your “brother” is going well. I’m still confused about how other women are always more gorgeous than you are – I don’t actually believe it for a minute.

  11. I see what you mean about Quantum Physics Cat 🙂

    Friends are wonderful. And you are much more beautiful than you give yourself credit for!

  12. Debbie says:

    Here, here to that! (The more beautiful bit that is.)

    And funny! Ain’t many people as naturally funny as you hon.

  13. pandemonic says:

    Your kitty looks a lot like mine.

    As for the unrequited crush: I also had one for a couple of decades. It prevented me from exploring other options. As much as it’s dreamy to wallow in, I highly suggest trying to turn your head around.

  14. Jenny says:

    Crush … I think they (whoever “they” are) invented that word for a reason…

  15. azahar says:

    Hey, where are you?

  16. LazyBuddhist says:

    Dang, that is one cute kitten. But, that is all part of their fiendish plan for world domination. They lull us into stupidity with their extreme cuteness, then then keep us sleep deprived by getting into shenanigans at night. Next thing you know we’re drolling zombies, and they are free to install their Feline Overlord who will make us all their slaves.

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