And now, the less cautious pessismism

Hmmm, that didn’t last.

You’re not really surprised are you? No. Me neither.

So, after not being able to schedule a second date for nearly a week due to both of us having prior commitments, we had tentatively agreed to get together on Sunday. But no definite plans were made. No actual film times or restaurants were agreed. 

As it happened, my Sunday lunch with girlfriends carried on until after 5pm (girls: talking: infinity) and by the time I realised the lateness of the hour and called him back, he – quite reasonably – had made other plans. No problem. ‘Next week’ we said.

Then he calls me at 5.20pm last night when I’m still at work, suggesting that he come over to my place with pizza and a DVD. 


MEN – PAY ATTENTION: Woman like a little notice before a date. There is stuff which needs to be done. Don’t make me tell you what kind of stuff.

Also, women like a date to be a date, especially this early in the dating. I don’t think its unreasonable of me not to want a man I have only met once to come over to my house for the evening, unless I intend to have sex with him, which I didn’t.


I explain that I’m still at work and say I’ll call him as soon as I leave – mostly because I’ve realised that all he talks about is sex which, while funny initially, is beginning to wear a little thin and which is certainly not appropriate for an ‘overheard by colleagues’ conversation.

So, I call him back.

Me: “I do want to see you again, but I don’t feel comfortable inviting you over until I know you a little better, so how about Wednesday night? We could try that tapas place? Do you like Spanish food?”

Him: “I can’t handle the fact that I have inspired real fear in you. It sickens me. I would be too scared ever to touch you. That can’t end well.”


Me: “Its okay, really. Its not fear, I’d just prefer to go slowly and cautiously. So, at the risk of sounding like a loser by asking again, how about Wednesday night?”

Him: a whole load more nonsense, getting progressively more narky… okay, yes, I paraphrased that part.

Honestly, man, get a grip. This doesn’t have to be a huge drama. You’re not getting in my pants tonight, that’s all. Actually, there was never any chance that you’d be getting in my pants tonight, but I realise you didn’t know that, so I’m cutting you some ‘disappointed and thwarted’ slack here. Or at least I was, until now, when you are reminding me PRECISELY why I loathe relationships.

Sod you. I’m off home to do yoga and watch Nathan Fillion buckle his swash around the ‘verse. Shiny.

This entry was posted in oh I don't know, just stuff and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to And now, the less cautious pessismism

  1. azahar says:

    Actually, you might have left out the “I don’t feel comfortable inviting you over until I know you a little better” bit and just said you’d rather go out. But oh well. I do agree with you that early dating should take place in public places and “pizza and a dvd” is the sort of thing you do once you get to know each other a bit better.

  2. woo says:

    Az – I did say that first, but then when he still wanted to come over I explained why I’d rather go out.

  3. piereth says:

    God, what a tosswank.

    OK, you were right, and I’m not impressed by his semi-precious fit of narcissism. It’s all about meeeee!!!

    Tellyerwhat. I’l lcome round with a pizza and a DVD and promise to sit on my hands all evening. Will that do??


  4. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

    WTF? indeed.

    While I think I’ve broken every rule of dating there is, I know what they are, and they were broken at the suggestion of the woman involved, since it is *always* the woman’s level of safety and comfort that is most important during the first couple of months. A guy who doesn’t understand that needs a refresher course in manners.

  5. Bother!

    Bother bother bother!

  6. woo says:

    piereth – you can come round with a pizza and DVD anytime, poppet 🙂

    David – I’m no prude, and I’m certainly more of tomboyish than ladylike in the conventional sense of the term, but I still expect to be treated with respect and consideration by a gentleman. Manners indeed.

    Mr Random – quite.

    Archie – yes, Winnie the Pooh has the right response in this, as in so many, situations!

  7. modestypress says:

    Time to start work on constructing an android with a combination of the proper appearnce, hormones, and manner.

  8. I’m so sorry that cautious optimism has morphed to cautious pessimism so quickly. Honestly. Did he really think that after one (admittedly rather good) date was going to gain him entry to your abode? How very silly.

    Send him a link to a few episodes of Law and Order:SVU so he can understand why he was moving way too fast. Or send him a copy of Fatal Attraction instead, so he can be truly full of fear rather than just intelligently cautious.

    I am so glad I am not having to deal with dating at present.

  9. woo says:

    Mr Random – if I had a spanner and some electrical cable and, like, any idea what to do with such stuff, I would.

    healingmagichands – the link to Law & Order: SVU is an excellent idea!

  10. OmbudsBen says:

    Aaaaargh. Urk. Sigh.
    I’m sorry it didn’t work out better for you, Trucie-woo.

  11. woo says:

    Thanks Ombudsben – back to the proverbial square one 🙂

  12. sledpress says:

    “I can’t handle the fact that I have inspired real fear in you?”

    And that didn’t make whatever you were drinking at the time come out of your nose too? That’s as big a laugh as I sometimes get all season!

  13. woo says:

    Thanks for stopping by, sledpress.Yeah, that comment alone qualified him for Extreme Noodledom and therefore disqualified him from ever getting in my pants 🙂

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