Finding Nice Men In Bars

Three of my friends here in the office went out last Thursday night to a couple of bars in the city (for those who know Sydney: The Establishment and The Ivy). They met some guys. Nice guys. How, I don’t know – those bars are loud and crowded with suity materialists and fake-tanned Cosmo-readers – and exchanged numbers. 

After a week of texting, they all went out again last night and met up with the nice guys. And one of the three girls snogged (oh, how I loathe that word) her nice guy in the bar. And brought him home. And came in to work this morning feeling rather tired, after only a couple of hours sleep. But with a HUGE smile on her face.

And she isn’t even the Swedish one. 🙂

Now, of course, they are again trying to persuade me to come along with them next time…

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6 Responses to Finding Nice Men In Bars

  1. Well, you know … their definition of “nice” might not be quite the same as yours. I don’t doubt that some people do meet their idea of a “nice” date in a bar. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t, though.

  2. modestypress says:

    We need a bar for nice people. I am trying to imagine the bouncer at such a bar.

  3. What exactly does that word mean, anyway? And why would you do it in a bar of all places? Hope she was practicing safe sex. . .

    In my experience, you don’t really find a lot of really “Nice” people in bars. I have also known my judgment to be impaired when I was in a bar being inebriated and the guy I perceived as “nice” just turned out to be a “horny bastard,” which was fine for getting my rocks off but not much good in the long term.

  4. OmbudsBen says:

    I’m seeing a friend in SF tonight who has been married for 30 years to a woman he met in a bar across from Wrigley Field in Chicago. Their marriage is so solid that, when he had a job opportunity down in LA, and she said ‘I’m not leaving SF,’ he moved and they visited on weekends.

    Twice a month he would fly or drive back up to SF. Once a month she’d visit LA. They both got to travel, and each had their own space, too (not always a bad thing).

    Anyway, tonight he moves back up and I will be 1 of 3 guys helping him move furniture into a new office on Union Street. They are doing fine–meeting in a bar is just a good story for them.

    I think you should go to the bar; just go have fun w/o expectations. And if you do talk to someone you like, remain upbeat. If you do like him and there’s an activity you might do together, talk about that. (Diving, hiking whatever.) As casually as possible make it clear you are headed to your own home later. If he wants to dive, hike or see you more than one night, that’ll be clear.

    If he’s insistent on bedding down for the night, then you have your answer there, too, right?

    But you should kick up your heels and go out for a pint. It isnt’ hard to get home when you want to leave on your own, is it?

  5. I stand corrected, OmbudsBen. I read my comment and I wonder what was I thinking? I spend time in bars. I didn’t meet Jim there but he was there sometimes when I was. We are both nice, too. You are right. She should go out for a pint and let her hair down.

  6. woo says:

    David – you’re quite right. And, as it turns out, he isn’t her definition of ‘nice’ either – having failed to call her since their Thursday night ‘sleep over’.

    Mr Random – you could be the bouncer, after all that wood chopping I feel sure you are positively rippling with muscle… 😉

    healingmagichands – I’ve always preferred the rather old-fashioned British/English definition of ‘nice’: Showing or requiring great precision or sensitive discernment; subtle: a nice distinction; a nice sense of style.

    Ombudsben – okay, you make a very good point. I think the trouble is that, while I can deal with a pub, I generally dislike bars. Far too pretentious and too obviously set up as ‘meat-markets’ for singles. But there are a few lovely pubs in Sydney, so I will do my best to get out to them and meet some new people. Hope your friend’s move went well, btw, and you didn’t put your back out or anything!

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