The race photos aren’t out until tomorrow (and you can bet your behind that mine will be truly dreadful so will probably never find its way to this site), but the official race times were in the paper this morning and I am relieved to report that I made it in under 100 minutes – JUST – thus qualifying to start in the Green group next year, which is less of a crush. My time was 99 minutes and 09 seconds, to be precise.
I should be feeling unalloyed delight, and I mostly am, but a small, mean-spirited part of me is disappointed that I didn’t do better. And when I say better, I mean better than some other people.
I knew two of the guys in the team would be much faster than me, they always were – even in training, right from the start. They’re younger, fitter and stronger than me and did it in 66 mins and 82 mins respectively. I am very proud of them.
But one of the girls in our team, and the girlfriend of one of the aforementioned speedy chaps, also beat me: their times were 92 mins and 98 mins. And while I’m proud of them, I’m also disappointed in myself. Which is ridiculous, I know – they’re each a good 6-7 years younger than me and both were running with their much fitter and faster boyfriends for the first half of the race, whereas I was running alone.
But still. Those are just excuses, really.
I know I could have pushed myself harder. I knew it while I was doing the race, too. Yet I didn’t. I am fundamentally lacking in whatever kind of grit it takes to make that extra effort to drive myself harder when instead I can just cruise.