I had a feeling I was going to bump into someone on the street today, and I did. But was it Tall Pilot Guy? Nope, it was not. It was the younger sister of the ex who broke my heart.
She always was a lovely girl – well, woman now, of course – and I have not seen her in eight years, so it was a happy albeit brief reunion as we were both hurrying to other engagements. One of the things which made the split with said ex so painful was that I truly loved his family – even though he made me royally miserable by the end – so splitting from them was a real wrench.
He’s now married, of course, with children; like all 3 of my ex’s. We’re not in touch – his wife refused to meet me and apparently didn’t want him in touch with me – but he actually sent me his ‘regards’ through a mutual friend while I was back in the UK over the holidays: I was polite and returned them but quickly changed the subject. I don’t want to be his mate and pretend it never happened. It did happen. It hurt like hell.
Mostly I’m over it, except that now when someone tells me they love me I don’t quite believe them and I can’t quite believe that anyone would actually want to be with me, since I thought he was my best friend as well as my lover, and he didn’t.
He broke my heart so badly that I still haven’t found all the pieces, let alone reassembled them into a decent whole. Pathetic, no?
Still, it was good to see her and we swapped numbers, so I’ll call her and catch up on her life next week sometime. I can’t blame her for what I perceive to be her brother’s failings. 🙂