1. I forgot to tell you that I have a new job title: Manager, Images and Digital Publishing Initiatives. Its nonsensically long-winded, agreed, but at least it covers a good 60% of what I do. Also, it shortens to MIDPI, which is cool. I’ve always wanted to be able to burst into a room, wielding a badge and shouting “Hold it right there, FBI!” So this is nearly as good.
2. When more than one person at work compliments you on your hair, saying “Have you done something to your hair? It looks great” and all you have done is to brush it that morning, you know that your personal grooming for the office has recently left a lot to be desired.
3. I’m project managing a new 128 page children’s Atlas of Animals. Completely brilliant because it means I get to decide which animals we include. Obviously, with only 128 pages to cover the whole planet we can’t hope to be comprehensive, but so far I’ve managed to shoehorn in a few of my favourites: the bilby, caracal, the pygmy hippo, the blue bird of paradise, the pronghorn, the wobbegong shark… What are your favourites, why, and where are they from? They might make it into the book…
4. Here are some phrases I have used in the last few days which I suspect you may not have had occasion to use in your working week:
“Here’s that gorilla I promised you. I hope its big enough.”
“Typical Malcolm, that bit of masonry at the top of Jerusalem’s wall is just floating in space. I’ll fix it with the wand thingy and some cloning, just give me a second…”
“Yep, good, that wasp is much sexier than yesterday.”
“Okay, I have a Blackfoot tepee cutaway, a prairie dog burrow in cross-section or a bighorn sheep with one foot missing. Which do you want?”
“No, we definitely don’t want trannies. They’re far too much hassle. And expensive.”
“The knight? Yeah, I’m just sorting out his hairline so he doesn’t look like a dork, he’ll be ready by lunchtime.”