Staying Sane

After a day of winter rain here – just one day of it – I’m feeling low. Struggling to remain cheerful and hopeful. Obviously, the weather isn’t the only culprit but it certainly makes a tangible difference to my mood.

Which makes me wonder how on earth I managed to stay sane for the first 35 years of my life, living in Ireland, Scotland and England where grey skies and drizzle were pretty much the norm for the majority of the year?

Oh, right, yes. I didn’t.

Anyway, back to moaning… my sunshine-filled holiday is a fading memory and I’m sitting at my desk, cramming daal and naan down my neck and trying not to allow myself to fall into that tempting pit – the one filled with fears of being unattractive and unloved – wherein no good can come of wallowing.

I must make more of an effort to ‘think positively’, to list all the things for which I am – or should be – grateful.

To whit:

1. my health. I think of Azahar and I know I should not take this for granted, and that good health is a Great Good, especially in that it allows me to do all sorts of physical activities that I enjoy.

2. my brother and sisters – though they are far away which makes my contact with them limited. Also, we’re rubbish at keeping in touch having been carted off to boarding schools when we were little, where we were segregated by sex and age while we were still impressionable. We thus formed the habit of not seeing or hearing from one another from one term to the next.

3. my friends – and here I include my blogosphere friends as well as my ‘real world’ friends. Afterall, there are thousands of miles of ocean between me and many of my RW friends so in some senses their presence is no more or less real than that of the people who read and comment here.

4. my job – 99% of which I thoroughly enjoy and look forward to. Plus, it is not badly paid and the hours are reasonable, and many of my colleagues have also become friends – people with whom I want to spend time outside of the office, the rarity of which I appreciate.

5. my flat – well, its not mine really, I just rent it, but I’ve been there for 2 years now and I feel fairly settled. Its small but situated only 15 mins (picturesque) walk from the office in a quiet and villagey harbourside suburb.

6. okay, but now I’m stuck.

Shall we mention the elephant in the room? The big, ugly, single elephant?

No, let’s not. It will only encourage her.

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16 Responses to Staying Sane

  1. azahar says:

    Glad to be of service. πŸ˜‰

    Take a deep breath and do something nice for yourself, all the while remembering that you’re worth it. Also remember that “single” is not the worst thing in the world and that “happy relationships” (like “happy families) are actually few and far between. Not impossible, but not the one missing ingredient that is going to make you feel happy and whole.

    And if I hear you call yourself ugly one more time I will personally come over to Australia and smack you one (or send my henchmen). Open your eyes girl – you’re gorgeous!

    • Norwichrocks says:

      Thanks Az, I know my nonsense is just that – nonsense and not rational – which makes it trickier to talk myself out of, but I will do my best to give myself a good smack upside the head next time I forget all those excellent points.

  2. Well said, az! And I may be the henchman who is close enough to do the smacking!

    Although who could be hard-hearted enough to smack such a beautiful young lady.

  3. I believe that az and archie probably said it best. Ugly you are not.

    I’m hoping that when you come to The Havens it gives you hope about the possibilities of happy relationships and doesn’t just depress you because you haven’t met Jim. . . I know I am truly blessed in him. He makes up for the fact that my family is far from happy…..

    Health and a job you love are so huge that you should probably give them more than just one number on the list, you know.

    Blessed be, trucie.

    • Norwichrocks says:

      thank you Ellie, I actually do love popping in to The Havens and your life with Jim is certainly not depressing! Now, if we could just clone Jim and post the clone over here πŸ˜‰

  4. piereth says:

    Sod the elephant, tell her to slope off!!

    Love you madly, Troo Woo.


  5. fugitivepeaces says:

    What they said.
    It’s re-entry blues, love. You do get to wallow, just a bit; the mood is like the weather, and it too shall pass. Few people are getting as much right in their lives as you are, but I know it doesn’t often feel that way.
    However, I am going to disagree with you strenuously on one thing. Elephants are NEVER ugly. Never.
    xx and hugs

  6. Norwichrocks says:

    you’re quite right, of course, elephants are NEVER ugly. Actually, I love elephants almost as much as I love sharks and birds.

    I am climbing out of my wallow right now and pulling up my socks πŸ˜‰

  7. I maintain that a big part of being happy in a relationship is having a fulfilling and interesting life as a single person. So you’re laying a wonderful foundation for the future. Before I met Beth, I used to say to myself, and mean it, that even if I didn’t find true love until I was 60, that would be better than settling for something now that would make me miserable.

    Of course, I know that a big difference between us is that being a parent isn’t in my future, and so there was not that poignant sense of time. But I think the principle is true … it’s worth the wait. You never know, and in the mean time … you’re living a life that many would envy, most beautiful and wondrous Trucie-Woo. And that wonderful life will serve you well when the right mister presents himself, which I have no doubt he will.

    • Norwichrocks says:

      Yes, you’re quite right about not settling for something that isn’t what I want – I’d much rather be single than in an unhappy relationship, even at my lowest points.

      And I don’t mind waiting, truly I don’t – or at least I wouldn’t if I could be sure that the right mister would arrive before its too late, biologically. Or if I could postpone the biological bit indefinitely.

      But yes, I do enjoy the life I lead and I live it to its fullest, I think. And on most days that is more than enough πŸ™‚

  8. sledpress says:

    I always simply remind myself that I live in Paradise compared to the majority of the world’s population — I turn a tap and water appears; I am free to earn my own living, however tired it makes me sometimes, and use the money to pay for hings like the air conditioning which is at this moment holding Washington’s vile summer heat at bay (it’s like Grendel’s twat out there). I still gripe and snark all the time, but when I imagine how I’d feel if I lost even one of these miracles… running water, air conditioning, a washing machine and dryer, a code of civil law that says no one else owns me.

    As for love, this old tart thinks it’s a pretty mixed bag. Don’t ask me how many times it’s felt like a job that I wanted to quit.

  9. Norwichrocks says:

    An excellent point – the fact that I can be warm (but not too warm!) and safe from harm and well fed and not burdened by an endless round of chores just to keep body and soul together are privileges for which I should remember to be more grateful.

    I’ve only ever experienced loves that I wanted to quit, so god only knows where my notion of a ‘good’ love comes from (well, okay, I know where: the Bronte sisters and Jane Austen), of the kind I hope to find. πŸ™‚

  10. I’m usually cheered by turning on some favorite music and doing something creative, or reading something truly escapist. I hope blogging helps cheer you up. It is usually easier when you can go on a nice, long walk in the sunshine.

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