In Which My Hospitality Outdoes My Misanthropy

This month three friends are coming to stay with me from the UK. Luckily, since I live in a one-bedroom flat, they’re not all coming at the same time.

But I’m not looking forward to it. In fact, I expect it to be rather unpleasant since I enjoy – nay, positively relish – having my space all to myself. As a general rule, I dislike having other people around, with only one notable exception.

So, why did I offer to put them up? Because they are friends – not close friends but better-than-acquaintances – and because that is the kind, generous, gracious, polite, socially-acceptable thing to do. I’m even moving out for two nights and staying at another friend’s place so that a couple can put my double bed to better use than I have recently.

I suppose there wouldn’t be much merit in it if it weren’t putting me out at least a little, right?

It will be fine, I’m sure… And its only three weeks…

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15 Responses to In Which My Hospitality Outdoes My Misanthropy

  1. sledpress says:

    You’re a better woman than I am. I sometimes can’t wait to shut the door even behind the people I love most dearly. Or at least it says here.

    • Norwichrocks says:

      No, I’m really not. I feel exactly the same. I love to be alone – especially as I work all day in an open plan office with lots of colleagues/friends… most of whom are lovely people. But a whole day is enough, you know? I like my evenings quiet 🙂

  2. piereth says:

    If it incommodes you, it’s not fine, it’s a pain in the ass.

    Someone just asked me if I didn’t get lonely in my big office all alone. She looked astonished when I told her I’m my own best company.


  3. azahar says:

    “Because they are friends – not close friends but better-than-acquaintances – and because that is the kind, generous, gracious, polite, socially-acceptable thing to do.”

    Only if you’re a certain kind of Brit, and only if you feel you need to behave like one (act “polite” while resenting having to do so). I don’t get it, Trucie, this doesn’t sound like you.

    Seriously … moving out so some “better than acquaintances” can sleep in YOUR bedroom? WTF?

    How old are these people? This is the sort of thing we used to do when we were 18 and “mi casa es tu casa” didn’t mean much since our own casas weren’t really much anyhow. Can’t they afford hotels? I personally know of a cheap & cheerful place down the street for visiting “better than acquaintances” who aren’t flush.

    Having said that, I did stay with some new friends in London last week who very generously offered me their spare room. And that was lovely. But you don’t even have a spare bedroom. And frankly, if this couple had offered to move out so I could stay in their bedroom I’d have thought that extremely weird and of course would have refused.

    There are a very select few that I would invite to stay in my home. I have no problem with that.

    • azahar says:

      And I would certainly not want a couple putting my double bed “to better use”. Ick. Do you have a good washable mattress cover?

    • Norwichrocks says:

      Well, hotels in central Sydney are expensive and they’re a bit old for hostels.

      Its fine, really. I was just having a grouch. They’re artists, and they/we are all a bit odd (and skint). 🙂

  4. This is what the wonders of hotels are for. Honey love, don’t make yourself crazy unless you absolutely must.

  5. Norwichrocks says:

    Too late, crazy already. But you can call me honey love anytime 🙂

  6. It is good karma to share your space with visitors, even if it might make you uncomfortable.

    Just a side note here, but just because a couple is sleeping in a bed together does not mean “anything” is going to happen that requires a washable mattress cover. Especially if they have just travelled from Britain. But even if it did, so what? Bodily fluids are not poisonous and sheets wash, the last time I heard. If sex did happen, the positive energy that had just been added to my surroundings would far over-shadow any other side effects.

    I’m going off on a huge tangent here, but lately you have been bemoaning the lack of serious love interest in your life. Revisit the statement “I relish having my space all to myself.” There is nothing wrong with this at all, but if that is what you truly relish, that energy may be written large in your aura and carriage. A truly self-sufficient soul does not send out the message “I’m available to share my life and space with you; come along with me and be my love.”

    It may all be slightly uncomfortable, but as you say, it is only for three weeks, they are artists, and you just might find yourself having a wonderful time.

    • I’m curious … do you think that love requires sharing of literal space? I’m always intrigued about the different ways people think about this, esp. since I honest to God can’t imagine cohabitating even with the great love of my life.

      • Norwichrocks says:

        I have to say I don’t think love necessitates a sharing of literal space either. Or, at least, not unless that space is large enough to accommodate separate bathrooms and separate, quiet, reading-type spaces.

    • Norwichrocks says:

      Oh, I have no problem with other people having sex in my bed at all. Especially since its not even my bed, really – I rent a fully-furnished flat. 😉

      And I know I can deal with sharing my space with someone else, just not a) a one-bedroom apartment and not b) with this particular girl. She is SOOOOOO unbelievably messy and disorganised (and there’s not enough room in a one-bedroom flat to have stuff strewn everywhere), as well as having this irritating laugh at the end of every sentence she utters…

  7. OmbudsBen says:

    Staying with friends varies so much, from person to person. When I travel back to the cities where I grew up and went to college, my friends expect me to stay with them. It’s different now, being married, and at first the missus and I got a hotel room but a couple of them were respectfully … a tiny bit sad. I got things like, “ok, stay in that sterile hotelroom if you want, but we’ve got this guestroom here we had re-done just for occasions like this …”

    We ended up mixing it up, a couple days with each friend and a couple in the hotel; it worked out well. But it’s pretty different in a one BR apt.

    • Norwichrocks says:

      Yes, exactly. When I lived in the UK and I had a two bedroom house, I loved having people to stay. I had great fun doing out the guest room.

      In a one-bedroom flat, however, not so much.

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